#rewrite
I already posted this but I kept thinking about the ending that I forgot the actually funny part I wanted to write. Soo:
It's hilarious going through old things. Today I cleaned out my desk and found a bunch of notes and such from middle school that makes me embarrassed of myself and that's pretty hard to do x] I was a freak, I'll admit that. Honestly I don't remember much of middle school but my gosh my little diary entries are embarrassing how obsessed I was with certain things. Then I found this little notebook from high school that I had my friends sign because I didn't buy a yearbook. I could not help but smile to myself because of certain people writing certain things, such as:
"You meanies! Lol I love you dorks... just not gonna go to the bathroom with you guys xP"
-At applebees we went to the bathroom and I was holding her stall door because it was broken. I told our friends to face the other way and kicked the door open, making her scream even though we couldn't see her. It was HILARIOUS!
"Blueberry Muffin♥♥♥ He's so hot! UGH! With his muscles DANG! Edward Cullen ♥ Sexy ♥ FCK Jacob and his strawberryness but Taylor Lautner....DAMN!"
-HAHAHAHA I LOVE THAT GIRL! We had funny conversations in p.e. giving certain people "flavor" nicknames. Nick Jonas=Blueberries Taylor Lautner=Cinnamon Edward Cullen-Chocolate Chips Jacob Black=Strawberries. Nick Jonas and Edward Cullen taste good together as a muffin, just saying ;]
"I can see your hairy penis you should shave it that's gross"
-Cody such a FREAK! lol! He always said, wrote and did weird things like that but he was hilarious x]
"Hey dogg, forshizzle, bo dizzle in da hizzle cajizzle my nizzle biatch!! P.O.D. (Peace Out Dogg) p.s. Jimmy"
-Jimmy is the little white boy I've known almost all my life. Picture a skinny white boy saying that and you can't not laugh. Especially since when he wrote this he was still shorter than me.
"Next year's gonna be so much fun! We'll hav emore deep talks and more making fun of people! You Rock My World!"
-She ended up making gossip about me and talking trash. Hence no longer friends. Irony much?
"You were one of my first friends in Nevada You are a great person! DON'T EVER CHANGE!"
-Fake biotch xP She stole my ipod when I went to the bathroom.
"Well thanks for all the support next year and the other years in the future lol :]"
-She and I stopped being friends the next year because I got mad at her and didn't talk to her for like a day, that night she called me "bitch" and other things to one of my best friends. Stupid move girl.
"It was cool meeting you this cuz you're hella tight. Have a great summer."
-I became good friends with him and he was dating the girl in the entry above him. But he understood and agreed with me when I was mad at her. After the next year he wouldn't talk to me anymore because of her and started trash talking too. *sigh high school. Stupid drama, stupid people. WHATEVS!
My sister got into a car accident today. I know you're probably thinking 'WTF why is that happy?!' Well because she's okay, I'm happy that she's perfectly okay. Well a little bit sore and nothing is broken or damaged so I'm happy about it. Some jerk driver ran a red light and hit her car. Thank God my niece wasn't in the car with her :[ That wouldn't have made it a happy thing if she were there, she's much more fragile.
I figured out that I shouldn't read as much as I do because I feel like an absolutely useless piece of shit. ('WTF Tiffany that's not happy either!') But it's true, I even considered taking all of my books out of my room or even selling them (DON'T KILL ME MIA!?) I am still going to read just not as much. It's because I had an epiphany. There's so much going on in my life and in the world and I realized I'm not doing much to help fix it. With my life I feel like it's useless to try because... well I don't know anymore. It just doesn't feel right anymore. I mean it's not like I was doing anything to make it worse but I want to make things better. I want to help people and help make people happy. So I'm going to make myself more efficient. I'm not sure specifically how I'm going to do everything but I'm looking around for solutions. 'Tiffany this STILL isn't happy' I know, I know. The happy part is the fanfic I'm reading at the moment that Mia sent to me :] It's AMAZINGLY FLUFFY! lol! At first I couldn't read it but it became more fluff than about death so I kept going. And the reason I was having a hard time reading it?
In Loving Memory:
Sophia Cadiena
1913-2011
My grandma passed away this past weekend :[ When I don't think about it it doesn't hurt so much and I can go on laughing and cracking jokes and acting wierd (extra weird because of pms). But times like this when I'm just thinking. It hurts :[ She's lived in the Philippines for almost as long as I've lived here but I love her SO MUCH. The last time I saw her was the summer after seventh grade. She was still so happy and she didn't look very sick. It was about six years ago. Since then I've seen pictures of her that I could barely look at because it's just so sad. It was like the life was draining from her and you can see it. It's weird to laugh but she could still crack me up even with morbid things. My dad is in the Philippines currently and a few days before he left my aunt told him that my grandma kept saying "I want to die already I'm tired" then my aunt told her my dad was going to visit and my grandma just stopped complaining and said "ok." When my dad told me that I couldn't help but smile. My grandma was such an amazing person, everyone loved her, she was so sweet and king and generous. I love her so much and I miss her SO MUCH. Sometimes I would dream about her. After that last time I saw her I would dream about different things and she would be there. I would wake up crying because I missed her. I liked having those dreams because I felt connected with her, like she was sending me a message, just for me. Now I'm kind of scared of having dreams about her because I don't know what would happen. Her funeral is tomorrow.. I wish I could be there.
