I Have No 'Best Friend'

Instead I have a few friends that I care for a lot. I don't want to label them as best friends because best friends always leave. So I'm thinking about it and I wonder if maybe that's why I run away whenever I start to get too close to a guy. There are some obvious factors that go into the equation also, but what if this is connected too? I am so fucked up in the head that I can't get close to people and maybe I never will? It really sucks to think that. I mean, if you felt so lonely it hurts and realize you might always be like that... What would you do? It worries me. I don't know what to do about it.

I know my lovelies are there for me but there will always be a part of me on guard, no matter how close we are. That's just how I am. So if one day I were to get married, does that mean ill never be happy in my marriage?

Of course I'm overthinking it, but its better than thinking of other things. "/

Published with Blogger-droid v2.0.3